at the cross....

as your world crashes around you
your ribcage starts to break
the constant fear of it surround you
growing stronger w/ each mistake
and what you thought was clear and simple
seems to be the hardest thing
your soul, it wars against itself
reduced to pain and suffering
you saw the light, you saw it gleaming
calling out to your distress
inside you hear your soul, it's screaming
good enough isn't your best
you always hide yourself away
tucked inside your flesh and bones
the pain, it haunts you every day
reduced yourself to nothing known
if you go everything you wanted
then the timing would be wrong
and once you got your timing right
what you once wanted's now long gone
discovering all else has failed
and all your battles have been lost
fall to your knees and realize
that all you have left is the cross


i wrote that one night after a long conversation w/ one of my really good friends. we had been talking about life. mostly about jesus...and what he has to do w/ our lives. he'd mentioned that he'd kinda forgotten about him for a while. he knew that things weren't good....he knew they could get better. and as he was attempting to better his existance, to feel some sense of worth in this destruction ridden world....he had completely forgotten his savior. he wasn't even slightly in the very back of his mind. as he was expressing this to me, sorrow consumed me. this is what the enemy can do. someone can have a desire and a passion for the lord that's burning so brightly.....and slowly but surely he takes that away from them. they let him, yes. but he takes it nonetheless. he's done it to me before. and he's done it to every single person that i know and love. and he'll continue to do it. because that's what he does. and...i guess i wrote this to and for everyone who falls into his trap. which....in essence really...is everyone. seeing as everyone falls into his trap. so everyone who falls into his trap would essentially be everyone. my prayer is....for everyone who has fallen into satan's grip....and has not yet found their way out, that they will. and also...for everyone who has fallen into satan's grip in the past...and has found their way out already....to never fall into that grip again. because far better is the grip of he who loves....than he who hates. and far worse is the torture of he who disobeys...than he who obeys. and far greater is my sorrow when he whom i love....falls into the enemy's grip and searches aimlessly for the way out, than when he whome i love falls into the enemy's grip and finds his way out, willing never to return again. and i pray that i never return again. for far greater is my reward in heaven....than my fleshly desires in this world. now i'm late for a date...so if you'll excuse me.....he's waiting for me right now at the cross....and i fully intend on meeting with him.